Playing with bad boys is a losing game and if it’s got you stuck in a loop then please read on. So, if you are one of the few wannabe reformers who really, really wants to give up bad boys why not do it as a Valentine’s day gift to yourself? Give yourself the gift of dignity and respect. Ditch the bad boy once and for all. If you are done with waiting for your bad boy to change and you finally realize that you deserve more then here are five ways to get started in giving up bad boys.

Your bad boy is like pure cocaine and you have to put into place a zero tolerance policy. This is non-negotiable. Write down your bottom lines, these should included a strict no contact rule as well as not collapsing into the arms of a nice guy and using him to mop up the damage left behind by your bad boy. No contact should include no social media stalking, no spying, texting, calling, asking friends about him, going to his work or any information gathering at all.

Bear in mind that he will try everything under the sun to hook you back in and it will be compelling, convincing and highly seductive. Don’t believe anything he says, delete texts, messages and emails before you get sucked back in. Let yourself feel your feelings and collapse. You will experience a withdrawal similar to coming off hard drugs. This is temporary, however bad it feels. Get together with friends, eat and sleep well, do yoga and get out for walks in nature.

Write a description of your ideal man. Describe him in terms of his values, how he treats you, what he does for you as well as what he looks and feels like to be around. Put in the action to make this happen by loving yourself, living well and building the kind of life that you really want. When you feel yourself weakening and your fingers creeping into your phone book to look for that bad boys number pull out the nice guy list and see if the bad boy has anything on him.